As winter approaches, more and more people are switching footwear to Uggs. Personally I can’t stand these things because everyone wears them and it gets sickening and monotonous to look at. But if you are going to wear them, please, please, I am begging you, wear them right!
So here are the reasons and/or ways NOT to wear them – please pay attention.
1. Don’t wear them because everyone else does. This is probably the reason half of people wear them. It’s dumb. “Oh, everyone else has them I MUST have them too!” Mmhmm. And if they jump off a bridge you’d do it too? I mean honestly if your purpose is pure fashion by all means do it, but for the most part people are just following the crowd. Go along, sheep.
2. If you are a fatty with fat calves. One word – yuck. OK look I know you think are fashionable, but bloated calves busting out the sides of these boots is just not cool. Not only are you wasting your money ruining them, but it looks dumb to have funnel shaped footwear. Nasty.
3. You think you are instant fashion closet. Uggs do not make you instantly fashionable when you are wearing clothes that aren’t. When you are wearing a dirty hoodie, and leggings with your cellulite butt showing, you are not cool. They are a fashion boot even if they aren’t the prettiest things around. And greasy hair – oh wow, such fashion and style! These Uggs will change that! Please. Learn how to dress. Pulling on these things doesn’t undo the messy rest of you.
4. Wearing them for the sake of wearing. No, no , no! They are a cozy boot! They are meant for winter and sometimes chilly fall days! Not summer, when you’re sweating all gross, just because you think you are so cool to wear these dumb things! I dont care if you bought them in August at +37C/98F… you do NOT wear them until its cool out. People don’t admire you. They are laughing. Laughing at your arrogance that you think you are better than everyone with your cool boots. Pathetic. Can’t you get attention otherwise?
5. You think Wal-Mart specials are the same. I am sorry, but they are not. They are cheap azz quality lacking complete style. However, if you are fat and not listening to step 2, these are for you. When your fat ankles ruin the entire structural integrity of the boot, you can replace them fast and cheap. But if you are normal, save your money and go for the big ones. You get what you pay for.
6. You think wearing them with sweat pants is acceptable. It’s not. You look like a freaking slob. Did you just jump out of bed and are too lazy to shower and dress like a sane person? Sweats are for home use. Not going out in public. Except maybe Wal-Mart for you true losers. PJ pants same thing – don’t do it. The pants will slide out anyway, looking even more retarded. They are meant to be worn with slim fitting pants such as leggings and skinny jeans. Nothing else. But if you are fat, stay away entirely. Read my rant Fat Chick + Skinny Jeans = Ew for more details.
7. The ankles are completely worn out. I don’t know how many times I’ve seen this. It makes me angry. Ok, so your dumb boots have worn out. REPLACE THEM. Go buy the dumb Wal-Mart substitute and enjoy. Just don’t go around with these ruined ones thinking you are still cool. Ridiculous.
The next one is important people. Please read.
8. YOU GET ANGRY AT US NON-UGG WEARERS. Ok, I love boots, just not Uggs. If I want to get funky boots with buckles and heels and whatever, I can do that. I can spend my money on non-Ugg boots, ok? Don’t get mad at me… GO BUY SOME FASHION BOOTS IF YOU ARE SO JEALOUS!!! I am sick and tired of getting dirty looks out of jealousy. It’s not right. Don’t do it. Next one that does it I’m gonna laugh at you and your noname, blow-out ankle, fatty fitting Uggs, with sweat pants sticking out. Don’t be hating.
On that note, I commend the Uggs company. Pure genius. Charge hundreds for boots for people to all be the same. Congratulations.
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Why are you so mean!Just because you were too lazy to get good education which led you to be a paycheck to paycheck person does not mean you have to be mean to other people that can afford them!I have uggs and I wear them because there comfy,not because everyone has them.Your probably fat with big calfs yourself.By the way bigger than average people look rather kinda cute in uggs I should say.Have fun with your cheap Wal-mart uggs while Im wearing real uggs!Ha-Ha-Ha!!!!!!!
First off lay off the fat people u discriminating fuck second worry about how u dress and leave the judging to god..Geeze get a damn life and worry about other things that matter!
You little mean bitch, just because you don’t like uggs does not mean that you have to make a little fucking website to tell people not to wear it. And what the fuck is your problem with fat people? Maybe there is some people that only wear uggs because others do, but there is also other people like me that wear them because is pretty and good quality not like your cheap ass that you call “uggs” from wall-mart.
I’m sorry, but I’d like to respectfully disagree with what you’re saying.
First off, I think that it is wrong for you to judge others so harshly. I do not wear uggs simply because they are not really my style, but I think they can look really cute on people who do wear them.
I think it is rather ignorant and wrong for you to act so highly of yourself while writing this article. There is a way to give advice in a productive way, and this is NOT that way. All you did here was insult other people. This article is poorly written and is basically just a list of insults to many different types of people. Personally, I think that is is a waste of time to anyone who was looking for honest and UNPROFESSIONAL fashion advice.
In the words of this author, I believe this article is “cheap ass quality”
Also, This entire article lacks any sort of positive advice on how to wear boots in a way you find appropriate. All you did hear was submit a poorly written article that insulted many people, and I think that is absolutely ludicrous. You cannot simple throw out latent and nebulous arguments that make no sense for the soul purpose of insulting people.
to the people who found this article and were disappointed with what they found:
If you have bigger calves but like the look of Uggs, wear Uggs! No matter whether they are Uggs or what people deem to be “knock offs” you can make them look absolutely fabulous no matter what you look like or what you wear them with. Personally, I think they look best with skinny jeans. If you have a colored rather than neutral pair of boots, I suggest a dark, almost black pant, which will compliment any color. If you have a neutral color, they’d look good with almost anything.